BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
