Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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