Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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