I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I am available for nakedness
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize