Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
