You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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