I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
