i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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