My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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