Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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