dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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