i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize