My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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