But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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