He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
