Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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