so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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