he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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