You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize