Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
