Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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