last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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