I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
