It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize