I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize