At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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