Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
