what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize