i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
