in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
