I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
