Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
