More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
