ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with two different species that night
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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