I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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