What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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