you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
