dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have already put on my inside pants.
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