The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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