I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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