Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.