so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.