hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.