how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.