Three words: puerto rican gang bang
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?