p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
