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I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
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