my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
