Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
