Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
