i can't believe i had my finger in that
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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