hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
