So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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