I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
