either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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