Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
