he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
