After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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