sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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