so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
