I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
