no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
