Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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