I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
